yay

just a note to say Happy New Year and such. oh, i am currently searching for names to use in my stories, so place comment if you have any interesting names. ^-^

Pain

He lurks in the
Shadows,
This teenage
Boy whose long dark
Hair
Hides his face,
And he waits.
He wishes yet
Again that
He was
Not Pain,
Not darkness
But strength,
Light.
He hates the
Pain he
Causes,
And his pain seeps
Into the shadows,
Surrounding him
Until it consumes all
Who come near.
He always hated it,
And tried to look
On the bright side.
He was not
Death,
He was not
Misery,
And he watched
Others,
Those he had hurt,
And they always
were better soon…/
Weren’t they?

6 ways

I am the notebook that is never
The same,
Always changing,
Always different.
I am the one
The girl clutches
To her chest
As terror
Consumes her,
Be it
The first day
At a new school,
Or the day she
Gets taken away
From her
Mother forever.
I am thrown
On the floor
In anger,
From not being
Able to find the
Right words.
I am left
On the bus,
My owner
In such a hurry
She left me
Behind, alone
And scared.
I am the
Notebook
That waits
On a shelf,
Yearning for
Someone
To pick me up,
Take me home,
And fill me with words.
I am the notebook,
Thrown into the closet
And buried under
Blankets,
In an attempt
To prevent an
Angry mother
From reading
The pain stained
Pages.

Life Is

life is the Beatlees song you
blast through your headphones
to drown out the silence,
it's the text books
everyone hated to lug,
the innoconce
of wishing for
a snow day,
the comfort of a
warm sweatshirt
from deep within
your closet.
the pain
memories may
cause
the fog that clouds
your mind when you
need to think the most
the belief in werewolves,
the hope a long-distance
relationship
will last.
life is the pen that dies
just as your creativity
flows,
the overwelming
sad feeling in graveyards,
the fun of dancing as thought noone can see you.

hair

i talked to my dad over the weekend, and he said i could dye my hair (again^^;)i want to do it black with red bangs (framing my face) and i told him i'd look up pictures and such. this is the closest i've gotten to what i want:

short poem-untitled (T-T)

I feel trapped inside of my mind,
were hazy memories and fairy tales
dance to the sound of words
waiting to be spoken.


i came up with this when i was focusing on a dream i'vehad fequently. i had to save it as a draft in my texts to remember it.^^;

untitled

I stand here looking at
The ocean, letting the
wind play with my hair,
pulling it back and
whipping it forward.
I listen to the waves
tilting my head to the
sky and closing my
eyes.
the air smells like the
ocean, pure and calm.
I hear someone call
to me, and I turn to
see who. my
friend is calling my
name, and I wave to her,
a smile on my lips.
I turn to fast, and
the rock crumbles
beneath my feet.
I lose my balance,
and tumble down
to the waves crashing below.

Silent Tears

Mommy
You
hold
back
tears
when
You
see
My
scars.
The
Tangled
And
Twisted
And
Mangled
Marks
Covering
my
Arms.
You
Whisper
To your
Friends
About
Sending
me
away
again,
while
I
sit
in
my
room
and
let
the
blade
slither
across
my
arms.
Mommy,
You
think
This
is
my
fault,
That
I
do
this
For
fun…
But,
Mommy,
I
do
this
Because
of
my
pain.
The
pain
Of
being
Sent
Away,
Never
Hearing
A kind
Word
I’m
At the
Breaking
Point…
Mommy,
Can’t
you
hear
Me?
The
Soul
that
urns
to
rip
free
from
my
body?
Mommy,
Listen
To
My
Silent
Tears
They
Will
Be
Gone
Soon…
Mommy…

Knife Kiss-magnetic poem #1

The knife is
In my hand,
The blade
Kissing my
Flesh,
I float
Towards
The ceiling
No longer
Effected by
Gravity
I hear the
Song
Of my life
The
Yelling
And
Lying
That always
Leaves me
Broken
And
Trembling.
I float
Away,
A
Whisper
Now…
I no
Longer
Feel
Pain

Immortals series

i found a series over the summer called "the immortals" they only have two books out so far, and i've devoured them both. <3

a bittersweet betrayal(twilight fan fic)

It seemed like a normal Friday. School had been sort of boring, but it was fine,since I was with my BF, John.
"hey,want to go out tonight?" he asked,glomp-hugging me.
I laughed. "sure,what do you have in mind?" I asked.
He smirked. "it's a surprise."
I pretent to scowl,then smiled. "OK,what time should we met?"
"I'll pick you up at 5 ish,'K?"he asked,kissing me on my forehead.
"OK,I'll be waiting for you." I said,smiling.
>>ff,back at my house.>>
I jogged up to my room,and tossed my bag onto my bed.
"Yay,finally Friday!!!!!" I said,dancing around."OK,I gotta get ready!" I said,stopping and throwing my closet door open.
I pulled a pair of stone-washed jeans and a red sweater out and tossed them on the bed.
I dashed to the bathroom and hopped into the shower. A few minutes later, I sat down at my dressing table and brushed my hair. I pulled on my clothes,and pinned my bangs back. I walked back downstairs,and stepped onto the porch just as he walked up the stairs.
"perfect timing,babe." he said,smiling.
I smiled back. "I could say the same."
he smirked,and gently tied a blindfold onto me,over my eyes.
I laughed. "whats this for?"I asked,reaching up to pull it off.
"it's for our surprise date." he replied,gently pinning my wrists together. He chuckled. "let's go."he said ,as he lead me to the car.

lost love and healing sopuls (most recent story,message me if you want more)

Meyako sighed as she walked up to her room. She had just visited her mom's grave,alone, and she felt only slightly better. She tiptoed past her father's room, and silently closed her bedroom door.
"I made it..." she said softly.
"MEYAKO!!!" she heard her father call. She winced,and stepped into the hallway.
"yes,father?" she said softly, keeping her eyes on the ground.
"I'm sending you away. You've become to much of a problem. Go pack only what you need." he replied coldly.
She nodded, and turned to walk to her room. "oh,here's the one box your allowed to use." he said,handing her a medium sized box.
She nodded,and grabbed the box. After she walked into her room and shut the door,she went into panic mood. Thinking quick,she pulled some sleep clothes out of her draw and wrapped the picture she had of her mom in one set, and the frame with the shard of bloody glass in the other. She placed both sets on the bottom of the box,and hurried to her closet. She pulled 2 dresses out,and placed them in the box. She tucked the music box her mom gave her for her 2nd birthday in between the dresses,and added socks,a pair of boots, and sealed the box shut. Her father walked in without knocking,as always, and glanced at the box.
"good,your packed." he said,before walking to her closet and pulling out a dress, her hooded cloak,and her other pair of boots. He put them on the chair near the door,and walked into the hallway.
"we leave tomorrow morning." he said as he walked down the hall.
"alright father." she muttered.
The next morning,she woke,showered, and got dressed in the outfit her father had picked. She carried the box out to the car,and was going to go inside to have something to eat when she saw her father walk out the door,and lock it behind him.
"time to go." he said as he climbed into the car. She nodded and climbed into the passenger's seat,and tugged her hood into place.
A few hours later, they pulled up to a building that looked more like a prison then a home,and her father parked in the front.
"let's go." he said,climbing out of the car. She followed,and grabbed her box from the back. After navigating the hallways for a few minutes, they stopped at a door.
"this is your room. Oh,here's your info for your time at Whispering Woods. And this is something from my lawyer. I'm disowning you."
Meyako's moth dropped open,then snapped shut. She turned,and opened the door to her new life,and left her old one behind.

A Vampire's Tear (my first story, message me if you want to read more of it)

Carrie sighed. She knew her father was going to beat her, he always did.
He blamed her for her mother’s death, and said the beatings were her punishment.
At first, she tried to block the hits, tried to tell him her mother died in childbirth, she had nothing to do with it. All that got her was a broken bone and a punch to the face…
She knew it would be worse tonight, it was her 16th birthday. She could leave now, and started to plan how.
Her father knew of her plans somehow, he always did…he shouted to her as he beat her now ‘if you even try to leave, I will find you and I will kill you.’
When he was done for the night, he dragged her down into the basement, to the little caged in area that was her room. “You had better be here in the morning.” He said threateningly to her. “….I will be father…” she whimpered. He left her there, to go and eat. She wrapped her blanket around her self, and curled up in a tight ball in the corner.
She cried in her mind, was no one would hear her and make her stop.
Meanwhile, a lone figure outside could sense her pain and misery.
‘When her father goes to sleep, I’ll go to her and see if she wants to leave… if she does, she can come with me…’ the figure thought. Carrie’s father went to bed shortly after the
Figure thought this.
Carrie thought she could hear someone walking to her ‘room’. She thought it might be her father, he came back and beat her during the night sometimes…
She curled up into a tighter ball and started to cry silently. She was startled when a hand was placed gently on her shoulder and a voice said “do you want to leave?” very softly.
She looked up to see a boy who looked to be about 17. She nodded, but whispered. ‘…my father said he would kill me if I left…”he looked at her and said “what if he couldn’t find you?” she looked up a little more and nodded once.
He smiled. “I’m Chris, by the way.” She smiled slightly. “I’m Carrie…” she replied.
He picked her up carefully and cradled her, as if carrying a baby. She started to blush full force. He noticed and said “sorry, but I can go faster if I carry you…” she thought he was blushing slightly, but she couldn’t be sure in the dark. He broke into a very fast run, and she soon fell asleep in his arms.

I Can't

the gun's at me lips,
cold metal against warm skin.
I think of my misery,
I think of my happiness.
the saddness rules me,and
This is the only way to end it.
The only way to end the suffering and
the lonilness.
But I still can't pull the trigger.
I can't leave my family,broken as it is.
I can't leave my life.
I can't leave my dreams.

Sometimes

sometimes
i feel as though
everyone is moving,
leaving me behind.
and when I try to
call out to them,
I find i have no voice.
And when I try to follow them,
I find I can not move.
The only thing I can do is
wait for it to be over as I
silently cry unnoticed tears.
Just when all seems lost,
when it seems there is no one
left,i awaken with a scream on my lips,
to find it was a nightmare,and
that my pillow is soaked in my tears...

runaway

tortured most of her life,
happiness a new and wonderful feeling,
having friends an amazing change,
the girl is happy for a little while.
then she gets home and is hurt,pushed closer to the point of no return...
she knows if she stays,she will just kill herself.
so she packs her clothes,and all her happy memories...
leaving the life she had and the painful memories behind.
she crys as she walks down the street,not knowing how she will survie or if she will ever return...
she wants to say 'i'm sorry' to all the ppl who she hurts by leaving...
but she can never go back now,never return to her family...
never.

Just one....

You say it helps to put the silvery blade
on your pale skin,to pull it until
crimson blood flows.
You swear You did it only once,
that you would never do it again,
but i know you do...

one cut.
thats it.
You promised you
would never fall
into this deadly habit.

The phone rings,your mom is crying
on the other end.You cut to close,
you might die,i cry at the thought that
I knew,and i did nothing.
I ask why. Why did you do this
if you were happy?
The only answer i get is
the sound of your last breathe.

one cut.
thats it.
You promised you
would never fall
into this deadly habit

now your dead,another body in the ground,
another person who died to young.
And i still wonder,what if I told someone,
if i stopped you, would you still be my friend?
Or would you hurt yourself more?
This is what goes thought my head,all my life.

one cut.
thats it.
You promised you
would never fall
into this deadly habit.

Why did you have lie to everyone who cared about you,
why make them wonder why you did this?
Why....

I'm Sorry...

they always told her it wasn't safe,it wasn't right.
they begged for her to stop,
she always whispered she did.
but, every night, her crimson blood
still mixes with her silvery tears,
reflected in the sharp blade.

now she's getting weaker,
they don't know why,
they beg her to tell them,
she always gives no reply.

now she knows she's hurting,
she wants to stop so much,
she tries and tries,
failing more each time.

and now her sister,
sensing her pain,
walks into her room,
seeing her in pain,
is miore then she can bear.
'why did you never tell me?'
she asks, weeping.

and now she's crying,
left to clutch the bloody knife,
knowing she's caused someone
pain.
she whispers 'i'm sorry',
as as she floats away.
'i tried to stop....i tried every day...

she's sitting in an office now,
waiting to see you.
maybe if she had come to you before,
she would not have hurt you so.

she whispers these words,
wanting me to write,
saying this is how she
wants to explain,
what she did every night.

Wrist Blood-completly fiction

cut my wrist,and let the blood,and the pain flow out.
a failing grade, a broken heart,a fight,
all this is gone with one little cut.
everyone says that it doesn't help,
it only causes pain.
and maybe that's true,
but it masks the pain i feel.
and maybe,one day,
it will all end forever,
and i can be happy again.

life?

is life truly the hell some see it as,
or the perfect life that others believe?
or is it just a pure,neatral thing,
like a fresh sheet of paper,
that happiness and sorrow,
love and heartbreak,
friendships and betrayals,
pain and pleasure,
blemish and mark?
or is it simply an illusion,waiting to come to a close?

if you lie...*edited*

it was a story book love
right from the start,
I fell right into your arms,
head over heels in love.
you hugged me,
kissed me,
made me feel like
something other then the
worthless girl
I always
saw
in the mirror...

you always whispered
you'd love me forever,
you helped me feel happy
when I was down...
you promised
to be with me forever,
why do you know
tell me that
each whispered promise,
each loving touch,
was nothing but a lie,
a simple game to you?
playing with my heart,
causing me pain in the end,
to distract you
from your own.

so now I sit,
still in love,
battered and raw...
I can't deal with this pain again...
so I'm locking my heart away forever,
never to love again...
becouse I trusted you,
and you used that to destroy me...
I will never let myself love again
....it only leads to pain....

Dreams-a poem for my BF

when i was little,
my mom would read me
fairy tales,
and i would dream
of when my life
would become
one.

now that I've
grown up,
i know there are
no
knights in
shining armor,
no princes
waiting to
whisk me away

and yet, there
are still
fire breathing dragons,
still witches waiting to ponce,
still trickster fairies and pixies.

even thought
i know this is true,
i still dream of
being a princess,
and finding
the one prince
meant for me.

i may never be
that princess,
but i still have
found
my happy ending,
my prince,
my one true love.


and that's good enough for me.

omg,i just got the cloud song stuck in my head!!!!

wanted to post them someplace. XD